Right? Most — well, some — of us are important people. Things to do, appointments to keep. Money to make. [Clients to scam, crimes to cover up, et cetera et cetera...]
[And then there are Saul's standards, which sit rungs lower on the proverbial ladder. He remembers being a little more choosy with his company when he was younger thanks to his brother's insistence that they "show a little class," but now...
Saul likes anyone he can either manipulate or get a rise out of, especially when they initially come off as sticks in the mud. It's all about the challenge.
Sorry, Frank.]
So... [He tilts his head, lips pursed in thought.] President, or Home Depot employee?
[A pause, before he has the grace to laugh. Southerners. They laugh and pat you on the back and make you feel like the guest of the evening while imagining your face in a frying pan, lightly salted.
His acting seems genuine with years of experience.] Good one.
[This guy thinks he's a god damned comedian. Do you see what I have to put up with? I told you this was a bad idea.]
President Frank Underwood. [He extends his hand, subtly fingering the hand sanitizer he'll be using shortly with his free hand in his left suit pocket.]
[Saul's smile is wide, eager, and sudden as he takes Frank's hand. Then he adds, almost as an afterthought:] Sir.
[This is what you do when you meet the president, right? Call him "sir," give him a firm handshake, linger a little longer than most people do just so the guy really knows how excited you are to meet him even though you're trying to keep your cool —
Really, Saul couldn't care less. Frank has no authority here.]
[Have a sharky grin that occasionally looks more threatening than it's intended pacifying feigned friendliness.]
Am I to take that to mean you aren't willing to contribute towards approval ratings, or that we aren't from the same world?
[Ordinarily, one might have asked 'Does that mean you voted for my opponent,' but, well, Frank was never actually elected.
The grin becomes slightly less aggressive and more quietly amused at the repeat of the word 'sir.'] Well, it is always good to meet someone in the legal business.
I think you should embrace a sense of fun if you're going to do well in games. As much as the politics of America would entertain the most attention-seeking of individuals, it lacks the charm of magic powers or zombie invasions.
Yes, it can be a commitment. [ He's pretty sympathetic to it. It's not a job, after all. ]
Oh, I have super powers. Hypnotism, bullet proof, apparently the most necessary one, and ice powers. I haven't actually used them. Feels like cheating. Well, no, actually, I've cooled my drinks a few times. [ He doesn't really need the hypnotism to convince anyone and the bullets well, no one has shot him yet. ]
[A blink, as if uncertain he had heard correctly.]
You have superpowers.
Well, as Prime Minister, being bulletproof would certainly be useful. I don't suppose the locals are likely to cooperate with any lingering political ambitions?
And I'm sure you've no need for assistance, which, truthfully, makes a man wonder if what you're really asking for is competition.
[A politician hinting and a Brit leading the conversation in a direction is about as close to a request as he would expect. Anything more direct would be a National Alert.]
While I personally would be happy to indulge you, the Mundane seems to have found your current setting a bit much, and only recently resigned from it. Somehow I doubt that is where, if anywhere, I find myself positioned.
You know your history, I commend you. I'm indeed her majesty in the flesh. But one of the aspects of this place allows my scribe to occasionally force me to take on a more modern appearance from time to time.
[Her daughter was impressive and unapologetic. (As well as the regal British version of his wife. Well. Probably ex-wife, sooner than he'd like). Still, such traits are commendable in Frank's mind.
His cheeks redden subtly, genuinely not having expected the familiarity to go both ways.
I know what you're thinking. Don't get your hopes up. One of the fundamental rules around her is to never trust a beautiful women who doesn't hesitate to flatter. Especially Queens named Anne.]
If you insist, your Majesty -- Anne. [Such a modest little smile as he rests his hands on his knee.]
[Anne can't help smiling and feeling triumphant when she spies that blush.]
[How many women can claim they made the President of the United States blush?]
My scribe enjoys practicing my modern voice. It's a persona that's rather different from my true history. The opportunities to practice are rather limited elsewhere.
[Especially in his case. That number is disturbingly few.]
If I may be honest, I think your 'scribe' is onto something. A woman such as yourself would be far better suited to a modern time. Your sex has much more freedom to maneuver and influence.
[And go outside without a chaperon and not be forced to marry! What a concept.]
[He notes that little twitch of her lips and gives a slight sigh through his nose. Perhaps a dose of moderated honesty is in demand.]
Ex wife, but, I do think it would be an exception. The two of you have quite a bit in common.
[As does he with Henry, in truth, but he isn't going to sabotage himself worse than he's already done.]
See, the difference between a President and a King is that the King can do whatever he want to whomever he wants, and have little overall concern for the consequences. A President has to appeal and find himself deposed, as it were, in a matter of seconds. Public relations is everything, and the opinion of the people will break a man if not carefully sculpted.
For example, a man's wife leaving him in the middle of his campaign for re-election. [It is very frustrating. He somewhat envies Henry's freedom to hack off a head and be done with it.]
Perhaps the present company is in both of our best interests.
[Oh, well, that was rude. And it was going so well... Damn.]
Only in your confidence, cleverness, and desire to not be...controlled. Unless I am mistaken.
[Perhaps that would be enough to circumnavigate further similarities between any of them.]
Destructive personal relationships are ill-suited to those with ambitious agendas. Out with the old, in with the new. Sometimes, the best way to start over is with new alliances. In your case, being free of the fatal inconvenience of being disposed.
Illustrious, eh? I'm inclined to ask your opinion of my representation throughly history, but I have half a mind to think you'd simply pay me more flattery.
[Not that she'd refuse further compliments.]
You think if I knew your history I'd be less inclined to call your company...
[She pauses, considering all the adjectives at her disposal, keeping him on his toes until she finally makes her choice.]
...enjoyable? You might find that I'm more suited to politics and finding out secrets than one might think.
You would be correct. Though I appear to have learned the hard way it is better not to criticize opinionated women.
[There is a bit of a smile, though, as the term was not intended as an insult.]
I've no doubt you would learn it all, soon enough. But there is hope that, as one not personally involved, you may not simmer with scorn and disapproval as much as those personally affected. I cannot say if you would object or see it all as a series of necessities laced with personal shortcomings that can be ...amended. I like to think the better of us can rise above our flaws.
[There is a moment before he casts the darker look off of his face, and tilts his head in something close to amusement.]
Do all of your meetings with foreign dignitaries play out like this?
[No offense taken whatsoever, she's opinionated and she knows it. That was partly her issue with Henry - too many of her opinions crushed and disregarded.]
[Never again.]
I understand better than most that oftentimes, for the bigger picture, certain things do need to be done. Though I will say that the one thing I refuse to put on the line is my dignity.
[She smiles right back and tilts her head almost playfully.]
I've yet to encounter a dignitary so interesting as you, Frank.
Madam, I am from Carolina, born and raised with southern grace and charm. Your dignity will never be in question.
[Unless you screw up your own reputation. Then you can go down with the ship, while I take the last lifeboat. I'm not making the mistake of trying to keep two people above the water again.]
Well, that's mighty kind of you to say. I fear I should have warned you sooner that those same southern gentleman I was just referring to are highly susceptible to charm an flattery.
heavy breathing
a cross-canon that needs to happen.
i'll take "things i've wanted for like a year" for $400, alex
They just don't get it.
bing bing bing! it's the daily double!
People like Saul go in one of two directions on his scale. Contempt if they fall short of his standards, and loathing if they rival him.
Still, he smirks.] An incompetent cabinet to babysit.
LET'S MAKE IT A TRUE DAILY DOUBLE
Saul likes anyone he can either manipulate or get a rise out of, especially when they initially come off as sticks in the mud. It's all about the challenge.
Sorry, Frank.]
So... [He tilts his head, lips pursed in thought.] President, or Home Depot employee?
<-- his face on the inside, over 9000.
His acting seems genuine with years of experience.] Good one.
[This guy thinks he's a god damned comedian. Do you see what I have to put up with? I told you this was a bad idea.]
President Frank Underwood. [He extends his hand, subtly fingering the hand sanitizer he'll be using shortly with his free hand in his left suit pocket.]
good.
[Saul's smile is wide, eager, and sudden as he takes Frank's hand. Then he adds, almost as an afterthought:] Sir.
[This is what you do when you meet the president, right? Call him "sir," give him a firm handshake, linger a little longer than most people do just so the guy really knows how excited you are to meet him even though you're trying to keep your cool —
Really, Saul couldn't care less. Frank has no authority here.]
Saul Goodman, attorney at law, at your service —
[ho don't do it]
— sir.
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Am I to take that to mean you aren't willing to contribute towards approval ratings, or that we aren't from the same world?
[Ordinarily, one might have asked 'Does that mean you voted for my opponent,' but, well, Frank was never actually elected.
The grin becomes slightly less aggressive and more quietly amused at the repeat of the word 'sir.'] Well, it is always good to meet someone in the legal business.
[Parasites. All of them.]
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[Because of course a snake like Frank would get Saul's approval.]
You know, it's always good to have friends in low places.
[Yeah, he knows what people think of most lawyers — especially defense attorneys. Especially defense attorneys like him.]
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[Oh, yes. He's heard about you.]
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I cannot rightly abide such insolence.
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[He considers, though.]
Are you suggesting I embrace friendship with this...presumptuous pup?
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I think you should embrace a sense of fun if you're going to do well in games. As much as the politics of America would entertain the most attention-seeking of individuals, it lacks the charm of magic powers or zombie invasions.
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[Though they are appealing to a fifty year old politician who gets his rocks off playing adolescent videogames.]
What has yours subjected you to?
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Oh, I have super powers. Hypnotism, bullet proof, apparently the most necessary one, and ice powers. I haven't actually used them. Feels like cheating. Well, no, actually, I've cooled my drinks a few times. [ He doesn't really need the hypnotism to convince anyone and the bullets well, no one has shot him yet. ]
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You have superpowers.
Well, as Prime Minister, being bulletproof would certainly be useful. I don't suppose the locals are likely to cooperate with any lingering political ambitions?
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Starting off as a PR man, may well graduate to Import Ambassador in the space of a couple of months?
[ This is like, too easy. ]
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And I'm sure you've no need for assistance, which, truthfully, makes a man wonder if what you're really asking for is competition.
[A politician hinting and a Brit leading the conversation in a direction is about as close to a request as he would expect. Anything more direct would be a National Alert.]
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A friend who understands. If he happens to add a bit of competition...?
Well, boys will be boys. So long as it ends the day with a good scotch and amusing conversation. [ A shrug. ] Well, what more does a man need?
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While I personally would be happy to indulge you, the Mundane seems to have found your current setting a bit much, and only recently resigned from it. Somehow I doubt that is where, if anywhere, I find myself positioned.
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Some settings are more relaxed than others. I couldn't handle one that was more easy going, it's true.
[ Slight problems with self-destructiveness. ]
I do hope find a good fit, if you need to find one.
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Boleyn. Anne Boleyn.
[She smirks, curious if he'll get the historical reference, and likely be confused by her modern attire.]
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Are your parents very enthusiastic history professors, or am I actually addressing a queen?
[You never know around these parts.]
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You know your history, I commend you. I'm indeed her majesty in the flesh. But one of the aspects of this place allows my scribe to occasionally force me to take on a more modern appearance from time to time.
So then, you know me, who might you be?
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His posture straightens a bit, subconsciously.] President Frank Underwood, your Majesty, and it is a very sincere pleasure to meet you.
[He's probably full of it, but with Southerners, even for those accustomed to their social habits, it can be so very hard to tell.]
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The pleasure's all mine, Mr. President.
A bit funny, isn't it? Your country hadn't yet been discovered during my reign. Yet it seems to be thriving quite nicely.
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He knew his manners, as well as how to play the modern 'game of thrones.']
That is very kind of you to say, though I'm sure we have as many unresolved issues and internal conflicts as any other country.
[A show of humility with an extended thoughtful pause:]
But please, you're welcome to call me Frank.
Game of Thrones reference, I love it!!
All countries have their limitations and their own hurdles to conquer. None of them are perfect.
[Of course her country controlled half the world at one point, some of it thanks to her daughter, but she won't rub it in.]
Only if you'll be so kind as to call me Anne.
headcanon says he's a fan. :D
His cheeks redden subtly, genuinely not having expected the familiarity to go both ways.
I know what you're thinking. Don't get your hopes up. One of the fundamental rules around her is to never trust a beautiful women who doesn't hesitate to flatter. Especially Queens named Anne.]
If you insist, your Majesty -- Anne. [Such a modest little smile as he rests his hands on his knee.]
May I ask what brings you to a place like this?
Well how could he NOT be?? lol
[How many women can claim they made the President of the United States blush?]
My scribe enjoys practicing my modern voice. It's a persona that's rather different from my true history. The opportunities to practice are rather limited elsewhere.
i don't see how anyone could not be, tbh
If I may be honest, I think your 'scribe' is onto something. A woman such as yourself would be far better suited to a modern time. Your sex has much more freedom to maneuver and influence.
[And go outside without a chaperon and not be forced to marry! What a concept.]
Very true!
[And not act as her "loving" father demands.]
And even more often Henry isn't in the picture in my modern timeline.
[Mostly because we haven't found a Henry but that's hardly the point!]
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[The slight shift in his seat betrays a fraction of discomfort.]
In fact, I'm certain that she would. But she isn't here either, so I suppose that just leaves you and I.
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[She gives a slight displeasured twitch of the lips at the mention of a wife. But the smile is right back on her lips again.]
You think so? Women tend not to like me. Wives especially.
But you're indeed right, no way of knowing for sure. Just us two here, indeed.
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Ex wife, but, I do think it would be an exception. The two of you have quite a bit in common.
[As does he with Henry, in truth, but he isn't going to sabotage himself worse than he's already done.]
See, the difference between a President and a King is that the King can do whatever he want to whomever he wants, and have little overall concern for the consequences. A President has to appeal and find himself deposed, as it were, in a matter of seconds. Public relations is everything, and the opinion of the people will break a man if not carefully sculpted.
For example, a man's wife leaving him in the middle of his campaign for re-election. [It is very frustrating. He somewhat envies Henry's freedom to hack off a head and be done with it.]
Perhaps the present company is in both of our best interests.
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Ex wife? And you say I have a great deal in common with her? Hmm...I can't decide if you're complimenting me or not.
[But she smiles and gives a charming little laugh to show she's kidding. At least a little.]
Kings can be foolhardy in their power. They reach too high oftentimes, get too greedy and then fall straight to the gallows.
[She tilts a brow, intrigued.]
You think so? Do tell...
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Only in your confidence, cleverness, and desire to not be...controlled. Unless I am mistaken.
[Perhaps that would be enough to circumnavigate further similarities between any of them.]
Destructive personal relationships are ill-suited to those with ambitious agendas. Out with the old, in with the new. Sometimes, the best way to start over is with new alliances. In your case, being free of the fatal inconvenience of being disposed.
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Am I that easy to read then? But you're quite right, of course. But I suspect that happens rather often.
[Her fingers instinctively brush over her neck, almost uneasily. Though she's not too happy about giving away weaknesses.]
Indeed...and in your case?
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[That said, there's no judgment, really. He rather likes the ones like her, sprinkled about the history of mankind.]
Oh, just the pleasure of a charming and cultured woman, less aware of my past mistakes and considerably less inclined to loath me.
[Yet.]
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[Not that she'd refuse further compliments.]
You think if I knew your history I'd be less inclined to call your company...
[She pauses, considering all the adjectives at her disposal, keeping him on his toes until she finally makes her choice.]
...enjoyable? You might find that I'm more suited to politics and finding out secrets than one might think.
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[There is a bit of a smile, though, as the term was not intended as an insult.]
I've no doubt you would learn it all, soon enough. But there is hope that, as one not personally involved, you may not simmer with scorn and disapproval as much as those personally affected. I cannot say if you would object or see it all as a series of necessities laced with personal shortcomings that can be ...amended. I like to think the better of us can rise above our flaws.
[There is a moment before he casts the darker look off of his face, and tilts his head in something close to amusement.]
Do all of your meetings with foreign dignitaries play out like this?
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[Never again.]
I understand better than most that oftentimes, for the bigger picture, certain things do need to be done. Though I will say that the one thing I refuse to put on the line is my dignity.
[She smiles right back and tilts her head almost playfully.]
I've yet to encounter a dignitary so interesting as you, Frank.
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[Unless you screw up your own reputation. Then you can go down with the ship, while I take the last lifeboat. I'm not making the mistake of trying to keep two people above the water again.]
Well, that's mighty kind of you to say. I fear I should have warned you sooner that those same southern gentleman I was just referring to are highly susceptible to charm an flattery.
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[Not that she intends to give you control of her dignity, sir.]
Now, now, don't go giving away points of yours that I could use to my advantage, Frank. But then again, charm is the essence of a Boleyn woman.