Dear Mun . . .

Well now, player, I don't know what y'all were thinking with this, but you might wanna think again. I know I'm funny, charming, the handsomest man ever to join the Marine Corps, and of course the best at making new buddies, but I'm also real. You remember what that means, don't you, player? Real? All that shit goin' on when you look up from your screen?

[A slow, lazy drag of his cigarette, smirk getting more pronounced.]

This ain't gonna be easy for you if you wanna do much of anything with me, and I know how you hate causin' a stir. That's why you're so stuck on me, even though I'm a bad idea: 'cause you can't let a good lookin' man with a bad attitude go by without ropin' 'em into your fantasy lives about people who ain't too goddamn weak to piss off a soul or two.

What? Nah, there ain't nothin' wrong with it on my account. I'm the fake guy. Just think about it, player, before I go gettin' my hopes up that we could have some real fun here.